Team Splendid Attacks Blast off!

As the Title Says, Line-up: Chris, Phill, Me (Blair), Nick, Rich, Gaz, Dave J and His Crew.

Dont Mess with Perfection

I had my hair cut today for the first time in 1 year, and its shit

OOOPS

Nature gifted me with a classy nest and i fucked it up!

New Girlfriend Sketch

Two Men in a Bar, One man is a geekish character with supposedly little or no appeal to women, the other is his long time best friend. The Scene Starts with the two sitting in a pub waiting for 'The Geek's New Girlfriend to arrive.

The Friend: So I’ve heard you have got yourself a girlfriend?

Geek: Yeah, She’s really great, I think she could be the one.

The Friend: Yeah, that’s cool, I’m really happy for you, can i ask you one question though?

Geek: Yeah sure, fire away

The Friend: Why do you think she’s the one? you haven't had much luck with women in the past, don't you think you need to play the field abit more?

Geek: Nah its not like that, finally I've found someone who loves me for my brains and not my brawn.

The Friend: Cool, I’m really happy for you man, when will i get to meet her?

Geek: Any minute now.

Direction - Camera Pans to the door and a Female Zombie walks in, stumbling and mumbling The Camera fixes on the The Friend, who has a shocked expression on his face.

Shameless Self Promotion

1up for the Outsiders and Underground Mofuggers

Friday saw the culmination of a group of Legendary Behemoths; Chris, Nick, Matt, Truman and I took to the celestial plains of Ramshackle and started a riot.

The night was dragging due to the uninspiring music played, which sparked someone to say 'There are only so many times you can listen to the Killers in one night'. But then out of nowhere a moment of pure joy happened, As soon as the first beat dropped, Chris came rushing towards me like something from a cheesy dream sequence (Chris was waiting at the Bar at the time), Oh yes it was Concrete Schoolyard time. The beauty of it was that as soon as this song started, the masses of 'Indie Sheep' started to get confused and foam at the mouth, some were heard to say 'THIS ISNT THE KILLERS', We reveled, the masses were crushed! We had won the evening!

Later we danced to Tiffany's I think were alone now, Hungry like the Wolf by Duran Duran and Mr. Blue Sky by ELO, BRILLIANT!

As J5 would say "UNITY!"

This didn't Happen at my 9th Birthday Party..

Bubble Gun!

This Gun could of ruined Neo's Plans

Word of warning, this book isn't for Licking

Me and my fellow Apb'ian, Phabulous Phill have devised an ingenius way of recording our stupid ideas! Behold the Clitoris!

In the battle between Man and Goose, Man will always win, or will he? 

Who is this strange Green Man? 

Icon Chokes Goose, Career Ends

The Main Protagonist of this epic piece of fiction is a young Wrestler Known as 'The Grand' Gareth Kanyon (Not stolen from Ultimate Muscle, i swear!).
He was a simple wrestler, an honest man and one hell of a model American. All of Gareth’s Life he tried to live by the wrestling code of honour, which his father used to viciously beat into him in their epic gym sessions which got later dubbed as 'The Grand Beatings'.
We join the story part way through Gareth's already glittering career. He had already risen to be one of the most respected and like wrestlers working in America and in country far away known as Disney land.
Gareth had always considered himself a fan favourite and always worked the crowd before starting his match, often he would embrace a young child from the crowd (most of the time sick, and or retarded, as they always seemed to be happy, probably a mix of drugs and their faces being miss-shapen), gifting them with a patterned Grand Kanyon hat.
One Night in a little place known as Dallas Texas, Gareth turned up to his match and did the same thing he did every fight. The match started with Gusto, his opponent on this particular evening was a man known only as 'The Space', a mysterious wrestler garbed in all black with only his eyes were visible to the paying audience, some say he was able to manipulate his body and the air around it and bend it to his will, later it was discovered that it was a loud of bullshit and he just had very flexible joints. Anyway i'm diverting needlessly from the story so i shall carry on, The match started well for our Hero as he worked his patterned Submission style wrestling on 'The Space', until an uninspected visitor made his way towards the ring,. It was a man dressed in a full green body suit and a small Robin style mask that covered his eyes. He proceeded to distract Gareth and allow 'The Space' to cheaply roll him up for an easy 1,2,3. Shocked and confused by what had happened Gareth confronted the Commissioner of the Show and asked who was the masked interferer and why had he been allowed to cost him the match, the Commissioner had no answers and was as confused as our hero.
Many Nights had past and many shows had come and gone, each time The Green Man appeared and cost Gareth his matches.
Until One night Gareth Laid down an open challenge to this 'Green Man' and sure enough, the villain appeared, the two stood in the middle of the ring, face to face, for the first time. The tension could have been cut with a knife and spread onto a whole meal loaf, it was seriously that tight! Any who the two snapped and went at it toe to toe, until Gareth gained the upper hand and put him into one of his patterned Suplex moves, and locked in his 'Grand Submission' Lock. The Green Man lay motionless on the mat, no flinch from his limp body, Gareth announced to the fans that he would remove the Green Man's mask and show the world the man who had cost him so many matches, as soon as he pealed of the mask from his face, the world and Gareth himself stood back aghast at what they had seen, for it was no man that lay on its back gasping for air, it was the carcass of a Common Goose!

After the Goose gate scandal had blown over, our hero was never seen again, some say he know dedicates his life to saving other geese from sporting accidents, but some say he is probably dead or in jail on minor drug offensive