8th February: The Splendid Ones Descend upon Wolverhampton
On the 8th of February at 7:15, a strange event was to take place, armed with this knowledge, Team Splendid was sent along to investigate this disturbance in the force. It was told that come this date and time, many skilled Arrow throwers would come from miles around to pit their skills against one another in a slog out fight to the death (first to 8).
The team assembled to document this event was as follows:
Gareth "G-Money" Moran: Skilled with an arrow himself, his interest in this happening was to improve his own dart skill.
Dominic "White Kanye West" Tibbetts: An expert in the art of infiltrating Gay clubs with his pretty boy looks and his Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dress sense. No one can say no to this man.
Sam "Porksmen" Portman: With a fro that makes even the most Fly Homeboy jealous, this man is a danger to all and even himself, has been known to strike his own allies with his razor sharp chops. He also has a shit Helmet Strap Beard.
"Phabulous" Phill Spicer: Phill possesses one of the 7 wonders of the natural world, a beard with so many colours its as if it were woven as part of a crazy facial tapestry.
Stuey Jones "Me, Lord": This man sups at the well of immensity, no more needs saying.
and last but not least
Blair "The Copperbeard" Frame: After an explosion at a hardware store, Blair's life would never be the same again, the accident left him with a severe facial disfigurement which was a beard of copper wires.
Congregating in the Royal London we played many a game of pool and drank and cheered like a group of Neanderthals. Sam Portman proved to be a worthy pool player hustling me out of a victory.
Next we traveled to a local sandwich establishment and replenished out energy by shoving 6 inches of bun into our mouths, again Portman showed us the training given to him by his lovely mother as he bested us all and managed to take 12 inches into his gaping hole.
With Stomachs filled and hearts burning with anticipated, we strolled into the Civic hall to watch a terrific display of Top Arrows. Open entering i was told by a manc scally wag that Slipknot ruled, after thanking the man for the advice i headed off to find my seat. Me and Phill sat above where the Dartsmen entered the heated arena, so we decided to offer encouragement by shouting rude things at them, and Phill spitting and dribbling like a mad man. About half way through the battle we heard of a skirmish within our own ranks, Gaz and Portman had a small falling out which was quickly resolved and all was well.
After this prestigious event had finished we found ourselves coming under heavy snowball fire from hostile locals, too which we responded with devastating force, Dom proving particularly accurate with a ball of frozen water managed to hit Portman on the head then take out an innocent by stander. His just deserts were given as a random man ran into the melee and smashed a snowball in his face and we all chortled heartily (I laughed like a girl, honestly it was embarrassing).
We found ourselves back in the Royal London, this time playing bowling. Portman and Dom were having a tiff and Dom ripped Portman's Raymond Barneveld Outgraph up. It didn't matter as i proved my handiness with a ball and managed to best everyone!
The night wound down with Portman and Phill going and leaving me and Dom to have a heart to heart chat too which i thank him greatly.
Many things were learnt, many laughs were hard, many more times i hope this happens.
The team assembled to document this event was as follows:
Gareth "G-Money" Moran: Skilled with an arrow himself, his interest in this happening was to improve his own dart skill.
Dominic "White Kanye West" Tibbetts: An expert in the art of infiltrating Gay clubs with his pretty boy looks and his Queer Eye for the Straight Guy dress sense. No one can say no to this man.
Sam "Porksmen" Portman: With a fro that makes even the most Fly Homeboy jealous, this man is a danger to all and even himself, has been known to strike his own allies with his razor sharp chops. He also has a shit Helmet Strap Beard.
"Phabulous" Phill Spicer: Phill possesses one of the 7 wonders of the natural world, a beard with so many colours its as if it were woven as part of a crazy facial tapestry.
Stuey Jones "Me, Lord": This man sups at the well of immensity, no more needs saying.
and last but not least
Blair "The Copperbeard" Frame: After an explosion at a hardware store, Blair's life would never be the same again, the accident left him with a severe facial disfigurement which was a beard of copper wires.
Congregating in the Royal London we played many a game of pool and drank and cheered like a group of Neanderthals. Sam Portman proved to be a worthy pool player hustling me out of a victory.
Next we traveled to a local sandwich establishment and replenished out energy by shoving 6 inches of bun into our mouths, again Portman showed us the training given to him by his lovely mother as he bested us all and managed to take 12 inches into his gaping hole.
With Stomachs filled and hearts burning with anticipated, we strolled into the Civic hall to watch a terrific display of Top Arrows. Open entering i was told by a manc scally wag that Slipknot ruled, after thanking the man for the advice i headed off to find my seat. Me and Phill sat above where the Dartsmen entered the heated arena, so we decided to offer encouragement by shouting rude things at them, and Phill spitting and dribbling like a mad man. About half way through the battle we heard of a skirmish within our own ranks, Gaz and Portman had a small falling out which was quickly resolved and all was well.
After this prestigious event had finished we found ourselves coming under heavy snowball fire from hostile locals, too which we responded with devastating force, Dom proving particularly accurate with a ball of frozen water managed to hit Portman on the head then take out an innocent by stander. His just deserts were given as a random man ran into the melee and smashed a snowball in his face and we all chortled heartily (I laughed like a girl, honestly it was embarrassing).
We found ourselves back in the Royal London, this time playing bowling. Portman and Dom were having a tiff and Dom ripped Portman's Raymond Barneveld Outgraph up. It didn't matter as i proved my handiness with a ball and managed to best everyone!
The night wound down with Portman and Phill going and leaving me and Dom to have a heart to heart chat too which i thank him greatly.
Many things were learnt, many laughs were hard, many more times i hope this happens.
posted by Blair at 10:46 AM
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