BBC to Splice Darling Buds of May with Stock Footage of Hangings

Pop Larkin (left) and Hanging (right)

The Program is called "Perfecxecution" and will air sometime this summer

Local Chippy Closed Down as Meat Source is discovered

The Local People have dubbed them "Kebabies"

Satan Makes Guest appearance at Small town Fair

Local Residents of a small town in England where shocked when The Lord of Darkness himself made a fleeting visit to their Annual Faire.
One Local Remarked "It's always nice when important people take time out of their busy schedules to take an interest in your Village, I felt a little worried when he played the 'Dunk the Vicar' Game but they both seemed to take it in good spirits".

Mission Force 2: The Mission to Wolvo

Having not been out for a few weeks, i decided to hook up with my Homeboys Chris and Nick and Chris' Better half Kylie for some fun and frolics in the good city of Wolverhampton.

I saw this as a perfect opportunity to clear away the winter blues and to get myself back into my usually state of euphoria.
The night started with an enjoyable drive to cassa-de-bate to join my comrades in a pre-mission can of fizz. As the hour drew near our transport to the drop zone arrived, i had requested a chanook helicopter but a white cab arrived and we thought we might as well go by road as many Missile silo's had been sited in the Bilston area. The rough journey was over as we arrived at our target drop zone, The Royal London. Working well as an oiled unit we managed to gain entrance to said venue with the minimum of fuss, taking out guards with simple karate chops to the neck (which as we know from films, renders the target completely useless). Upon entry we executed the capture of our target, which was a Quiz Machine known as 'The Money Shot', we secured the area and persisted to reap many information coins from said Machine.
Then the mission took an unexpected turn when we encountered an old allie also working in the area of Wolverhampton the same night. This was none other than mine and Chris' friend Teza (who we have worked with before, one memorable occasion was a mission that took us to the outskirts of Nottingham, many man were lost that day and the screams still haunt my dreams "Why do they come to me to die!"). Anyways we ended up partaking in some Mercenary work with Teza's crew, which consisted of two chaps by the name of Kay and Chill. Many beverages were consumed and laughs were exchanged (i also won a pitcher of Carling due to my expert pool skills, and i don't mean water sports).

A mission update came in from headquarters that said we had to hightail it to a new target and persist in laying down a funky beacon on the blast off dance floor but alas we were unable to complete the mission due to a large resistance in the area. We barely made it out alive.

The night was ended as i exchanged world views with a homeless man, he seemed quite a cheerful fellow. As we readied for our incoming Evac, a rogue assassin attempted to block our escape but quick thinking from the pickup ship pilot thwarted her efforts and we finished her off with a jack.

Respect.

Rocky Blairboa: The Soundtrack

1. Swingin' Utters - Glad
2. Skankin' Pickle - 20 Nothing
3. Voodoo Glow Skulls - I Just Hit a Guy With Glasses
4. Reel Big Fish - Brand New Hero
5. The Offspring - Smash
6. New Found Glory - Head On Collision
7. Mr. Bungle - Pink Cigarette
8. Mephiskapheles - Bad John
9. Melvins - Honey Bucket
10. Lagwagon - Alien8
11. Jurassic 5 - Radio
12. Flogging Molly - What's Left of the Flag
13. Lagwagon - Razor Burn
14. Flogging Molly - Rebels of the Sacred Heart
15. Eric B and Rakim - Paid in Full
16. Butthole Surfers - Human Cannonball
17. Buck-o-Nine - My Town
18. Bouncing Souls - True Believers
19. Bouncing Souls - Gone
20. Aspects - Impact
21. Alkaline Trio - Time to Waste
22. Against All Authority - All Fall Down

Back in Training

Rocky Blairboa, thats what they call me. I am back in training to fight for my honour, after i was insulted by a man with a dodgey hair cut.
The Purse is a cheese and ham sandwich, which is as any man knows, the most coverted prize in Boxing.